I always admired those who just go to the world with only a bag and after they become successful, they earned what they always wanted: freedom. Only those who play win. Only those who risk win. I never was brave. I fear of everything. Of the dark, of the solitude, of the downfall. I always scolded myself, because I’m too weak. I can’t live that life what I want, because my fears paralyze me.
But know, when I’m sitting here, in a coffee shop, far away from my home, I realised: hate doesn’t help. You need to love yourself. You need to love your demons too, because they are the part of your life. You need to learn live with them.
Each journey starts with small steps. Maybe, you can’t leave everything behind and start over in a new life right now, but it’s not a problem. You started. You took the first step and this is the most important thing. They weren’t born to be revolutionaries either. They became on the way.
This was our first real common festival with my boyfriend. Although it’s true that we aren’t hardcore festival fans, who can survive everything. I need shower, I need hot food, I need a bed… so, yeah, I’m weak. I can’t dance and drink all night. I’m a silent type, who drinks few beers, but I never get drunk, because I wanna enjoy the concerts. I wanna remember them. And this festival, FEZEN 2017 was memorable!
Not so long time ago, I mentioned in my facebook post that I’m a perfectionist. I try to do everything perfectly, but I’m never satisfied. And this includes this blog as well. I work a lot on my outfit posts and my youtube videos, but at the end I never get what I expected. I ask myself all the time: is this worth doing it?
And after I just look at my instagram and… it’s so lame. My photos aren’t as shiny as theirs. I tried for a long time to look alike them, but now I realised: it doesn’t make sense! I don’t enjoy it and the result isn’t good either. I read lot of fashion blogs and I follow lot of girls on the instagram and their life seems perfect from the outside. They have amazing hair with amazing make up and wear awesome outfits all the time.
I know, they have bad days too, but it’s so hard to believe it…
It’s incredible! The end of the summer is almost here, and I’m still looking like a dead girl. I’m always super pale like bathed in bleach. If somebody would like to make a theatre play about Snow White, I would be the perfect protagonist. Except for that I’m a horrible actor.
But the truth is that I really enjoy my skin color. If I wanted, I could go to solarium to become browner, but no, never! I love looking like a corpse. If I wear black or dark clothes, they look more dramatic with my pale skin. Every style advisor say: don’t wear black if you are too white, because you will look sick. Do yu know what I say: who cares?
Do you know the feeling when you go to the supermarket planning to buy some essential groceries and you come home with a pair of new jeans? Well, couple of days ago I’ve experienced it. I wanted to buy bread and on the way I saw these jeans in the window of a shop and I knew at the first moment: I need this, I don’t care about the price.
I hate buying new jeans. I love shopping, but I always buy dresses, t-shirts or sometimes skirts, but jeans? Almost never! Trouser-shopping is a real torture for me. Trial and error all the time. And the consequence is that, I haven’t got too many pants. Lately I feel the lack of jeans. I always wear the same trousers and I feel like I always wear the same outfit. I have lot of unused t-shirts, because I haven’t got enough options… so I have decided, from now on, I will force myself to trouser-shopping. Cruel step, but it’s necessary.
I totally fall in love with this outfit. The black and red look amazing together. They are the perfect color pairs. Fortunately, this summer isn’t too hot. The colder and warmer days change each other, so I didn’t have to say goodbye my favorite accessories, for example I can wear black stockings. I’m so happy, because I mentioned before that I hate the typical summer outfits. By the way, the time passes so quickly. I just close my eyes and when I open it, it will be already autumn.
Lots of things happen to me nowdays. I finished my university, I got my degree, I quit my current job and I got a new job in Budapest. I got the keys of my new apartman. It’s so fast. I haven’t got enought time to think over these. But the best part: I applied successfully for my dream school. I worked on it for more than a year. So, in september, I will become a real stylist student. I can’t wait it!
Okey, when I found this skirt in a thrift store, I knew it for the first time, I need it! It’s so cute and I really like its poison green color, but after the first time, when I wore this, I realised: I still hate the close fitting clothes. I can’t say that it’s not a pretty skirt, because I got a lot recognition from everybody around me, but it didn’t convince me. I felt really bizarre myself in this skirt, unfortunately. Maybe, if I wear it several times, I can get along with it. However, right now I will stay with oversized suits.